Usually, the last thing you want a husband to do is pick out curtains to surprise their wives with. He's done it before. For the living room, he brought home a pair of on sale curtains, dry clean only, in a color, well, he's color blind, 'nough said. (In Ken's defense, he has bought really awesome personal gifts in the past. I'm not criticizing you dear.) Well, he brought home a 2 pairs of drapes a couple days ago for my bedroom.
Not bad looking, huh? Actually, quite pretty, match my comforter colors perfectly, machine washable, no iron, and reversible to boot!
No problem, good choice eh? So whats my problem!? They stink!!! Literally, they smell like old burlap, sprayed in some kind of weird chemical! After I hung them up, I sat down to work on the computer, blogging of course, what else would I use it for, and all the sudden I started feeling sick. My nose started burning, my eyes were itching, my head stuffed up, my lungs felt heavy, and I felt nausea creeping in! Down they came, and into the washer, with detergent ,my old pal Odo-Ban, and then the dryer with 5 fabric softener sheets! Meanwhile, try airing out a room in sub-zero weather where opening a window is not an option! I re-hung my pretties, sat back down at my computer, blogging of course, what else would I use it for, and 5 minutes later, the same thing! They have been washed again, and are in the dryer, 5 fabric sheets! If it doesn't work this time, I hate to tell him but they have to go ! They're made of polyester! What can you put in polyester to make it stink? I have polyester clothes, and Heaven forbid I walk around town smelling like an old burlap sack! In the Chinese sweat shop where they were made, do the seamstresses have to wear aspirators! Do they have chronic lung disease!? Do they have lifetime supplies of Kleenex to blow their sinuses out? How do they do it! If I were to keep them up, would I have to wear an aspirator to bed? What about my poor cat and dog? Andy sleeps under the covers, understandably, he's pretty much bald, but what about my little Chip? Do the even make aspirators that size!? Woe is me. From now on, I pick out the curtains, no more surprises! Sorry Ken!
Some years ago, my father and uncle used to make balloon wine. No not made from balloons, a balloon was put over the bottle top, and as the wine fermented, the balloon inflated. When it was full, the wine was done. They could make wine from everything. Any fruit, dandelions, whatever they could think of to try. Well, what a treat today. My brother is visiting from up north, and was looking for finds in the basement. He came across this bottle of wine under the stairs. It has to be older than 35 years, as that is about the last time dad made any wine. Jay cracked it open, and what a treat! It tasted like sherry, but not as dry, and had a very nice aftertaste. So here's to you Dad, no wine was served before its time!
