Retirement and OWOH

My husband shuffles his feet. No big deal I guess to the outside world, but to me, it's the most irritating sound in the world! I guess I never really noticed before, because he worked midnights at the local foundry, slept during the day, got up for dinner, then would go upstairs to tinker with his computers. But now he's retired. Oh is he retired. The minute he puts on his house slippers, my brain starts to malfunction! His routine? Get up, shuffle to the bathroom, shuffle from the bathroom to the kitchen, get something to eat, make mouth noises while he's eating, shuffle to the kitchen sink, shuffle to the living room, sit down to watch t.v. with the volume up so high I can't hear myself think! The shuffling probably wouldn't be so irritating if we had carpet, but oh no, we have linoleum and pergo throughout the house. And for some reason, it amplifies the sound of slipper against floor. And now he has a new trick! Sit in the rocker, rock back and forth with his feet on the floor, and shuffle!! Forward, backward, forward backward...... and then there's the retirement rules. Did you know that the first years of life together are for the wife, and the next half after retirement belong to the husband? I did not know this! I wish I had been informed of that rule as I would have been a royal queen for the last 18 years! And all the things I thought I knew to do to run the house are now wrong. So I play it cool. OK, then you can do it yourself! No more rinsing and stacking dishes! No more washing his clothes! Hey! I may just get used to this retirement thing, and with some reverse psychology, I'll be the queen from now on!

OWOH
And the winner is............Elaine from Averettladynana! Congratulations Elaine!!