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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Missing Dad

Four years ago, we watched as my fathers health slowly deteriorated, and eventually passed from this life, to join his family and his God. This time of year is always difficult, as the smells of winter fading, bring to mind this sadness we as a family experienced. Being together Sunday, was a bitter-sweet time for all of us. So many reminders of Dad surrounded us, the bottle of wine, pictures, his bee bee gun, and all brought such happy memories, but at the same time sadness as we prepare to sell the family home that has been a part of our lives for 52 years. The swing out back that faces where well tended gardens once grew, and on any quiet evening you would find Mom and Dad together there discussing the events of the day, and watching the fruits of his labor grow.The green house that he built to grow his own flower and vegetable plants, fruit trees he grew over the years, always wondering if he'd be fortunate enough to see bear fruit, and the garage still full of his things that will soon be passed down to the next generations to enjoy. It's so hard to move on. It's hard to watch Mom as she goes through the motions in silent tears, unable to comfort herself when she lays down next to the pillow where dad used to be. To see her stand in the door as we leave, and closing that door to return to her chair alone. My heart is breaking. For Mom, for Dad, for my brother and sisters. For times gone by that can be brought back only through our memories. For Dads' calming voice, his sense of humor, and his faith that brought him and his family through so many difficult times. For the love that passed through our home, and nurtured us all. It will be so missed. So please, if you think of us, say a prayer. That we can move on with joy, full of so many memories, and heal the pain in our hearts.
Blessings,
Laurie