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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Missing Dad

Four years ago, we watched as my fathers health slowly deteriorated, and eventually passed from this life, to join his family and his God. This time of year is always difficult, as the smells of winter fading, bring to mind this sadness we as a family experienced. Being together Sunday, was a bitter-sweet time for all of us. So many reminders of Dad surrounded us, the bottle of wine, pictures, his bee bee gun, and all brought such happy memories, but at the same time sadness as we prepare to sell the family home that has been a part of our lives for 52 years. The swing out back that faces where well tended gardens once grew, and on any quiet evening you would find Mom and Dad together there discussing the events of the day, and watching the fruits of his labor grow.The green house that he built to grow his own flower and vegetable plants, fruit trees he grew over the years, always wondering if he'd be fortunate enough to see bear fruit, and the garage still full of his things that will soon be passed down to the next generations to enjoy. It's so hard to move on. It's hard to watch Mom as she goes through the motions in silent tears, unable to comfort herself when she lays down next to the pillow where dad used to be. To see her stand in the door as we leave, and closing that door to return to her chair alone. My heart is breaking. For Mom, for Dad, for my brother and sisters. For times gone by that can be brought back only through our memories. For Dads' calming voice, his sense of humor, and his faith that brought him and his family through so many difficult times. For the love that passed through our home, and nurtured us all. It will be so missed. So please, if you think of us, say a prayer. That we can move on with joy, full of so many memories, and heal the pain in our hearts.
Blessings,
Laurie

7 comments:

Melinda Cornish said...

it is so hard to lose people we love....I dont think it ever gets any easier! Melinda

Kim said...

I really empathize with what you are going through. It sounds like you and your family are going through a lot right now, and I will keep you in my prayers.

Diane said...

Oh, Laurie, you have so many wonderful memories and such a strong Christian faith that your dad gave you. You are so rich from what he left you. That's why it's so hard to give it all up with the sale of the house. Stay strong and be bouyed up with our prayers. What day did your dad pass away? Just curious, my dad died this day (10th) 19 years ago.

Pearl said...

Laurie, you and your family are in my heart and prayers. What a beautiful picture and frame you made to honor him. He seemed like a great Dad! Maybe you could regale us in some stories about him, some of your fondest memories? We would love to hear them. I know how precious my father is to me. He is the only one who loves me unconditionaly. Don't we just love our fathers?!

AverettLadyNana said...

I feel for you. My dad died 26 years ago last Sept. And my mom one year ago. Keep the memories alive of your Dad. Talk about him to someone who knew and loved him. My cousin's daughter and I talk about the family gone on to their heavenly home and keep their memories fresh, laughing about the good times/memories helps. That and our faith they are together in heaven with our Heavenly Father.

Marilyn Miller said...

It is such a difficult thing to go through. I will pray you will all be blessed with cherished memories and that laughter will return.

andsewon said...

Hey gal.. got you in my thoughts an prayers. Hard to let go of anything that brings those much loved ones to mind. Will aways miss them but will always have those memories in your heart and they will bring smiles someday and comfort you too. Lost my Father 30 yrs ago at 69. Mama left us will be 5 yrs in June. Does not seem that long ago. DH's Mama passed in 2002. Wow time does march on for
sure.
Make sure your kids know as much
about their Grandfather as you can tell them..those stories will become family treasures.
Hugs,
Lola