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Friday, December 19, 2008

Where From Here?

She never liked Christmas. As a child, as soon as gifts were opened, mostly from charity organizations which her mother greedily took advantage of, the tree was disassembled and put away, in wait for the next year. Rarely allowed to see her father, who was the only one that seemed to have true love for her, and held captive by an abusive mother and her influx of abusive boy friends, she retreated to a shell that became her only protection from the so called family she hadn't been blessed with. Once taken from her home after a report of abuse from her mothers next husband, Christmas became just one bad memory after another. Then years of foster care were no help either, and even after marriage and the birth of her daughters, mustering up any enthusiasm for the holiday was almost and impossibility. This year, she wanted things to be different, but it wasn't coming easily.
Then today, while at work, she received the devastating news that her dear father, whom as a young adult out of the grips of her mother was finally able to see and regain her beautiful relationship with, had died, his surgery for cancer just days away.
The grief and despair are more than she can handle. How do you tell this beautiful young woman, that things will be OK? Such empty shallow words. How do you comfort someone who's bitterness for the years taken from her and her father that can never be replaced and now their journey is over? How does she celebrate with her husband and two young daughters, when now Christmas holds another bad memory, another heartache?
My heart is breaking for her. I have had this beautiful young woman in my life for 22 years. She has been like a daughter to me, and I her mother, starting when she was 4 until she was taken away at age 11, and when a foster mother allowed her back into our lives 6 years later. You see, she is my husbands niece. We are the ones that reported the abuse, for which his side of the family never forgave us. She is my life. She is my daughter in every sense of the word. All I can do is hold her, cry with her, and listen. But it doesn't seem like enough. Please pray for her, pray that God comfort her in some way, that she be able to feel His love and presence, and somehow put this awful past behind her and move forward. And finally, please pray for me and Robyn, that we know what to say and do that will bring her some kind of comfort during the most difficult time in her life. To all of you, hold a love one, let them know how special they are to you and how valuable they are. Life is so precious.
Gods' Love to all of you,


Anonymous said...

That was beautiful Laurie and I feel the same way. I love you very much also and don't ever forget it!

Love Robyn

Diane said...

Laurie, Please tell her that she can break the chain of sadness and she must, with her own children. She must make a happy childhood and a lovely Christmas right now, for them. Tell her that by being a good mother to them and making good memories for them, she too will heal a little bit. She must be there for them right now and put some of her past away so that she can make them happy. She should take them to a wonderful Christmas show,something really happy. Take them to help feed the homeless(if they're old enough) do something mad and crazy. My girls never forget the time that we were driving in the country and saw an old church. I jumped out of the car and ran over to ring the bell for them. When I pulled the rope - it broke- I slunk away in shame and they all three laughed all the way home and they still like to bring it up and laugh all over again. I guess you get the idea. Help her climb out of the pit if you can. God bless, Diane

AverettLadyNana said...

Laurie, Praying for your Robyn...that's my daughter's name and spelling too!
She is lucky to have you and your husband. You did the right thing to report the abuse. Praying that she can break the string of sadness and that with her children she will be making good memories tht will overshadow the sad ones.

katie said...

Oh I hope she can find the courage to do something fun with her children in her fathers memory. He would never have wanted to be a source of sadness to her. I hope she makes happy memories for her children.